Stop giving advice

I’m fond of giving advice. There are sections of this site with my advice on writing a novel, how to configure your mechanical keyboard, and lots of other things. I want to be helpful, but I can’t deny that ego is also a factor.

I’m trying to change. I’m not actually going to stop giving advice, of course — the title here is pure clickbait, especially the imperative phrasing — but I want to alter how I go about it. The word should, so common when advising others, is a provocative one, and it can make people defensive.

Instead, I’m shifting towards just describing what works for me, or what I personally enjoy doing. A “take it or leave it” statement, not necessarily implying that anybody else should do the same, or even care. Declarations are less likely to be taken the wrong way, or to be polarising. Prescriptiveness is best left to younger and more energetic (or idealistic) people.

I want to help, but I’m no longer concerned with changing your mind if you don’t want me to. Equally, I’m still entitled to have my say, here in my own little corner of the web.

I hereby resolve to take a gentler approach. I’ll break this rule a thousand times, but when I do, please feel free to prod me in the direction of this page.